從去年底延燒到今年的轟動劈腿紀事﹕「小布(Brad Pitt)、裘莉(Angelina Jolie)、珍妮佛(Jennifer Aniston)」的愛恨糾葛,總算在沸沸洋洋聲中暫告落幕了,目前看來,三人可說是「階段性」修成正果了﹔小布和裘莉先前合作的「史密斯任務」賣座頗佳,兩人之後更有了愛的結晶,還把可愛Baby的照片賣給雜誌社,換得了大筆白花花的銀子,產前產後在非洲停留,也順便帶動了當地的觀光業,成了最佳代言人。


  而珍妮佛呢?一路則以哀兵形象博得關注與同情,接著片約不斷,突破原先面臨的事業瓶頸,愛情也有新的斬獲。評估一下,發覺小布這回劈腿劈得真有建設性和突破性,造就了大家全新的人生里程碑!由此可見,劈腿有時真不是件壞事,但要劈得有創意、劈得有擔當、劈得有成就,才不枉所「劈」,只不過大多深陷其中的人,無法參透其價值,且多半劈得是損失慘重,悔恨不已,很常見,也有夠遜!

  劈腿不算是個新名詞,卻比什麼「三角戀」、「多角戀」來的簡潔有力又充滿肢體想像,因此近來已成火紅的字眼,更是不少戀愛中男女既愛且恨,卻又得面對的課題。陷入這種境界時,主動決定劈腿的人,最好要劈得有火候,被劈(背叛)的人,最好永遠別知道,要不然就乾脆接受被劈的現實,方可成就劈腿的局面。而其中的最高境界,便是大家皆能從這波愛慾的「板塊重組運動」中,找尋新的平衡點,在人生中獲得突破性的利益與成就,當然,這種令人激賞的幸福造化並不多見,總是需要天時地利人和的襯托,而且還得繞道一段時間才能証明呢!看看小布等三人經過一番波折,卻從沒發生砍人見血的慘事,可見名人的高EQ操作,咱們即使學不來,也切記要多思考觀摩呢!

   其實情慾劈腿的關係好比我們用餐時,面對主菜與點心的定位和態度,通常會有以下四種可能:

一、別人認為你是主菜,你自比為點心。在這種可能當中,你的收獲是一種情愛遊戲間輕鬆的釋放,卻可能傷害了一顆對你充滿期待的心。

二、你把別人當點心,別人以為他(她)是主菜。那便是你存心的玩弄,也是自以為是的傲慢所造成的,你的自私和欺瞞是這場遊戲的籌碼,但其後果也是最難以收拾的。偏偏經常有人對此樂而不疲,把大夥搞的雞飛狗跳,只好在此奉勸你,誠實或許很無趣,但比較能夠避免後續無窮的麻煩,你以為有所得而沾沾自喜,有時卻可能損失慘重。

三、 你把別人當主菜,別人以為他(她)自己是點心。此種情勢也很妙,一開始你或許認為對方的若有似無很有趣,充滿了挑戰性,若是搞不定把不到,也只能勸告你,最好把原先自己的那道主菜也顧好,以免到時兩邊都翻船,落得一場空。


四、  別人當你是點心,你期許自己是主菜。這也是一門功課,便是「競爭」這場要命的遊戲,在這種情況下,你正是時下通稱的「第三者」,想要把對方的「主菜」情敵扳倒,才能贏得心上人的加冕。這種有難度的挑戰,除非個人魅力足夠,要不然最好具備或搶或騙或哄的手段,才得以修成正果喲!

  還有一種可能, 便是沒人知道上菜的等級順序,也不知何時這場宴席會結束,中間有人食不下嚥,或是貪得無懨,有人從中取得養份得以成長,更有人飲鴆止渴,只為求填補片刻的空虛,要是你,你是哪一種?你又能有多少選擇呢?

  劈腿的本身便是一種選擇,你可以選擇心靈或肉體的出軌,也可以選擇你渴求的對象,你可以選擇接受,也可以決定放棄,或只是無奈的妥協,只是看看以上的種種可能性,你可曾清楚彼此的心?

  最最理想的境界,就是兩者都具備了「點心」身份的認同感,這種劈腿關係最輕鬆無負擔,可以修鍊成數十年如一日的雋永回憶,只是這種默契對象多半可遇不可求,求得一時卻難保長遠啊!

  看看時下層出不窮的多角關係戀情,似乎已成為了大家想要忽視,卻無可避免的通俗現象,只是我們卻還並未培養什麼普世認同的對策,只是聽任「劈腿」二字在你我週遭的生活中泛濫漫延開來,這或許不是麻木,只不過相形之下,愛情的持續忠貞度卻日益稀有和珍貴了。


  如果我們真的擁抱了愛情,就要懂的把握或珍惜,若想要劈腿,或許正代表你生活中的某一塊空虛與不滿正有待填補,那麼,對許多現代人來說,劈腿還真的不失為一條刺激方便的捷徑!只是,就在你跨出那隻腿之前,最好還是想一想:
   你要的究竟是什麼?


   如果只是先做了再說,那開始了第一次,是否就沒有了缺憾?還是會有更多的遺憾跟在後面?如果在劈腿的遊戲間,大家都夠在滿足、恨意、或矛盾間成長,甚至更加認識自己,那就算是精彩的一場過程,這或許並不是件容易的事,而一般人所能做的,也只能隨時修正劈腿過程中的心態和步調,或許才有可能真正成為這場激情角力中的得利者吧!

                                                                      

                                                            Shenna 徐尚懿  2006年8月

                                                                發表於「獨家報導」雜誌

                                                                       

 

創作者介紹

香娜Shenna的美麗殿堂

香娜Shenna 發表在 痞客邦 PIXNET 留言(19) 人氣()


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  • Johnson
  • Hi Amazon,

    Nice song for all of us. Thanks!
  • Shenna
  • Dear Amazon,

    Truly I am touched by this movie. Although it did not occur to me while I was writing this article, now I think I know what you mean to tell us.
    Thank you so much. I really love this cute little song.
  • Amazon.
  • 我想幫這裡點首好美好輕鬆的歌..
    Not only for Shenna, but also
    for this literary & for "You" yeah..
    who is just reading now.

    It's related!! due to the movie.
    You will know if you saw it.....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVIHo-0JKA8

    [by] Julie Delpy -
    Let me sing you a waltz..
    Out of nowhere, out of my thoughts..
    let me sing you a waltz..
    about this one night stand~~~~~

  • Shenna
  • Dear菲力貓,

    我想,許多人或許認為,「克制」和「自我妥協」也是種對另一個人愛的表現,畢竟,慾望的湧現,時常是一股無名的剎那,有時候,過去也就讓它過去了~
    端看個人愛的詮釋和力量吧!
  • 菲力貓
  • Dear Shenna,

    兩者都具備了「點心」身份的認同,基本上就是不欺騙,而且兩情相悅。有人說結婚的人不可以搞劈腿。我覺得跳脫世俗的角度來看。就算結了婚,老婆也不屬於老公,老公也不屬於老婆,身體的權利更是如此。這不是家具可以讓擁有者有處分權或是主張權利的。所以我反對通姦罪這種落後的封建思想產物。現在有「違反性自主」的罪,我認為不能劈腿也是某種程度的限制「性自主」。道德、法律這種東西假道學太多,但是我不反對它的存在,因為符合大多數人的期待。

    更重要的是,自己想劈腿而忍住不劈,其實是欺騙自己、對自己不忠實的表現。擅於欺騙自己的人,騙人也很在行。接受自己原本的樣子才能愛自己與愛別人。

    有愛行遍天下。有愛做什麼行為都是合宜的。

    菲力貓
  • Shenna
  • Dear Johnson,

    I am glad you like the pictures.

    However, we sometimes don't know what we really want until meet certain challenges.
    That's why I say it is a 'lesson'.
  • Shenna
  • Dear Zioo,

    Thank you so much.

    到時候若有阿媽版也希望有你的支持~ ^^
  • 阿華
  • Dear Shenna,

    You mentioned a good point. We must looking into our mind to see what we really want & do not want. Say, be honest to ourselves. Btw, good pics of you updated. I love them.

    By Johnson
  • zioo
  • Dear Shenna,
    改天出寫真一定捧場!
  • Shenna
  • Dear LUNA,

    謝謝 LUNA! ^^
    懂得珍惜對方是一種真正的福氣,Shenna自認並不太擅長道德性的說教,但非常鼓勵所有的人正視和發掘內心快樂的泉源~
    「海灘半裸維納斯女神照」如果 LUNA 喜歡,Shenna 過一陣子再換上另一款囉~ 呵

    「寫真點播」真好玩呀! ^^
  • Shenna
  • Dear Knife,

    You just mentioned a complex and long been discussed issue here which regarding evolution theory and social studies here, my dear.
    There are some points may need to be emephesized and explained here:

    Statistic shows that more and more teengers have sex at youger ages in Taiwan, and more women cheat on their boyfriends and husbands. Taditional 'ritual practices' are in collapse at certain rate. There are many reasons involved, which may be dissused later.
    My point of view in this essay is to observe and analyse the 'cheating' situations and mind games in love and sexual relations. If 'someone ' tends to do an experiment, he or she may still try without reading this essay.

    Thank you for noticing the updating photos. :)
  • Shenna
  • Dear Johnson,

    Facing the games of betrayal and cheating,
    we all test how strong we are, how much we want from our beloved, and what we need from love.
    The dealing situation is the lesson for all of us. No matter of being a dessert or main course, and the appetites of others.

    無論是點心還是主菜,或是大家的胃口如何,這是一門功課,背叛或者劈腿的遊戲,都是在考驗我們的堅強,對愛的需要,以及我們對所愛的要求。
  • johnson
  • Hello, Knife,

    Nice to get your reply. Hey, I am a man also.
    Sure, sometimes I think like a beast. I admit it.It's not matter of right or wrong about you mentioned " like to have something more than seeing" about hot girls.That's just human's nature, & that's why human can breed for so long time. Oh, just take Shenna's essay as easy as we can. All we do got ration, don't we?
  • LUNA
  • Dear Shenna:
    順帶一提,
    這次更新的照片也很漂亮喔!
    新增的相簿更是性感!
    只不過,
    那張放上來不久的海灘半裸維納斯女神照,
    妳怎麼匆匆換掉了?
    太可惜了嘛!
    難道是這陣子網友鼻血失血過多引發抗議?
  • Knife Chen
  • Mister Johnson,

    Shenna's fan is nice or decent does not matter my points. I didn't say everyone here got worst attitude. It is uless someone clint he is.

    From my view, if you are talking about foreign behaviors, I don't think we Easterns can follow. Especially for blind fans(who only support their master and no judgement considered); especially for we alredy taken Chinese culture for 5000 years, how would we take this "that" easy(her essay sounds to like: if you want to try, think before you try).

    Usually people follow selfish instinct, don't you agree? And how you cridict Taiwanese(or Chinese whatever) form her views?

    Say, I want to see Shenna's private parts really really bad. I even like to have something more then seeing. How do you judge a man like me? I define myself as animals, it goes natural, and nature is innicent and beauty. Do you agree?

    Hey. Take it easy.
  • LUNA
  • 嗯!嗯!
    維持一貫獨特的見解風格!
    但對我這種色大膽小的男人來說,
    還是看看性感照就好!
    即使真動了啥邪念,
    恐怕會陷入別人把我當點心,
    甚至是菜渣的窘境!
    還是好好守住把我當主菜的另一半吧!
    期待大家都可以找到自己的幸福!
    Shenna也是,一定要幸福喔!
  • johnson
  • Dear Knife,

    I agree with some of your views. Some people got animal's instinct on emotional & sex-related behavior, some got rationality. Actually, there are different points of view among cultures around the world. Just as you mentioned, it's possible that human with nasty thought may take Shenna's essay to make some kind of "trick" or "trap" on someone. But I still believe most of Shenna's fans are decent & nice.If I were wrong, pls feel free to correct me.
  • Knife Chen
  • Back in Barbarian era, men use violence to get women. Or more likely in recent decades, still lots of men have more then two spones. How would you define good or bad in actions between sexes? I think it's only cultural partice difference. And not all humen being could be applied. For example, why western teenagers have sex (earlier)younger then eastern ones? Does that rate involve ratual pratice? Obiously it can't be talked like oversea. There're more then these paragraphs to talk about inter fear(triangle? I am not good in english), I am just afraid "someones" would take your theory and doing some kind of "experiment", and they don't feel content then...

    Sorry I can't key chinese too. Excuse me if you don't get a thing.

    And thanks Shenna for updating photos:P
  • 阿華
  • Dear Shenna,

    Maybe all we are desert sometimes, maybe main dishes some other days. Who knows.

    by Johnson
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